A personal Experience
My spouse is a patient of the VA medical system. She served proudly in the US Navy during Desert Storm. We sent a happy, bubbly, caring woman to them. We got back a scared, cynical, physically and mentally broken person. I frankly didn’t recognize her at first because until we had dated a while I didn’t get to see her trademark dimples. (I love her dimples they are her best feature and make fall in love again with her again and again.) I get to help her run around the huge organization that is the VA.
A lot of vets speak negatively of the VA. That is unfair. The VA has some of the most caring people on Earth and they all are driven by the mission of healing our war fighters independent of the military.
But it’s hard. My wife and many vets I speak with tend to equate the military with the VA and that is unfortunate because the two have radically different missions.
The VA has a lot of Red Tape…Congress wants it that way
For some reason Congress has it in for veterans. On the one hand they talk out of their mouths about how important it is to take care of our war fighters. But on the other hand they put up as many barrier to care as they can because broken war fighters cost a lot to fix. Congress wants the military to hold out the promise of care and hopes to hell not many actually buy into it.
The VA knows there is a massive Mental Health Crisis among vets
The VA has proof the military causes it right from Basic Training. They are at the forefront of research and publishing papers on the subject. Congress wants this swept under the rug. In fact Congress puts the full weight of the institution on the scale during hearings against veterans to frustrate them. The few that don’t walk away jaded and hating their country turn to the VA to treat them. And treat them the VA does.
This all can be resolved but Congress has other plans for the money
The VA and Veterans Administration has sent many plans to Congress to fully fund care for our veterans and provide proper pensions. This is especially critical for vets with mental health issues. Congress has decided that its easier to fight wars with new soldiers and ignore our veterans than it is to pay for the pain they inflicted. It is easier to offer medical care than pay for the food, housing, and clothing they lack due to not being able to work…out of fear, trauma, and anxiety.
But how does a spouse navigate the system with the vet?
The first thing is document
The Docs and nurses and therapists will all tell you to document. You have to document. The documentation is needed because to get service connected, aka prove the military broke the vet, you have to have a paper trail.
This begins by having the vet tell their story to you in detail. Did they hike a hill? If so what were the physical ailments from that. They were in combat? Did they take shrapnel? Where on their body? You have feel, take pictures and video and get second opinions from other doctors to back up our VA Doctors.
For mental health issues this is even more critical. You need to document where they started having symptoms. (Yes where they had them.) And you have to get notes from buddies in their units. The military is not like the WWII movies. You rarely make close friends because duh they could die. So you have to find their buddies and keep in contact with them.
The second thing is to listen to the Doctors carefully
Congress ties doctors hands as to what they can say and what they can’t say. So Doctors walk a thin line. If you ask if something is military related be prepared for a bunch of hedges. Note what the Doctor says closed and verify. It’s not that the doctors don’t want to be transparent.They are locked in by the rules established by Congress. Get the information but write it down.
Get representation
You will need an outside organization to help you vet get benefits and treatment. To navigate the hospital you’ll want to partner with the VFW, the DAV (Disabled American Veterans) or other Veterans organization. But when it comes to getting disability get an attorney period. These organizations claim to be able to get the vet through the process but they are not attorneys and can really screw up a vets case with poor followup, management, or just misunderstanding of the law. When it comes to hearings, checkups related to benefits and hearings get an attorney. Many don’t require payment unless the vet wins but its up to the family to provide the documentation in detail. The attorney can’t do it by themselves without it.
If your vet has appointments GO TO THE APPOINTMENTS
Going to the doctor is 90% of the solution. But the vet has to go. It is not uncommon for vets to skip appointments get worse and then blame the doctor for their inability to show up. As a family member it is critical that you help your vet get to their appointments. The major veteran associations all operate vans, cars, and bus shuttles to the major VA centers. But as a family its important that you get that vet to the transport. If you can get them there the VA will take it from there.
Finally if your vet passes away…please don’t blame the VA
Many families when a vet passes will blame the VA for killing them. They didn’t kill your vet any more than a regular doctor would. Most of our VA staff take great pride in serving our vets. Many of them are vets or family members of vets and take serving the war fighter and their family extremely personally. But sometimes people die, eventually all people die. So let them do their jobs but understand that death happens at the hospital and everything can be done and it still happens.
This is what I have learned as a husband of a vet who is a patient. This is the just a taste of what you will need. Ask questions. Voice concerns. But most of all make use of the wonderful people who staff the VA.